A lot of people say to me, “You meditate every day? You’re so self-disciplined!”

I’ll let you in on a secret. It has nothing to do with self-discipline and everything to do with self-love.

Self-discipline is what I did in college. I kept to a rigorous schedule of study and exercise, rising at dawn to go running, attending classes all day, participating in various activist groups in the afternoon and hitting the library until late at night.

Inevitably this self-discipline would backfire. One day, I would realize I was completely sick and bored of my rigid running routine and I just couldn’t do it anymore. Berating myself or feeling bad about it wouldn’t motivate me, either. Enough was enough. I was sick of running. So I switched to swimming and started the cycle all over again, putting myself on another rigid schedule.

Then, I would get sick of swimming.

And have to find another form of exercise. And the cycle would repeat.

Now, I have an exercise routine that is based in joy and self-love. I love to hike alone or with friends, I love to dance, I love to go to my early morning yoga class. I love going to pilates classes and being around all the other students, I love taking walks with my husband. (Did I mention I LOVE to dance?)

And these days I know myself better than I did when in college. I know that need a lot of variety so I switch what for exercise I do regularly.

Have been berating yourself or comparing yourself with others because you are not more “self-disciplined”? What is the underlying motivation for wanting to do this activity? Can you find the love in it?