A lot of people say to me, “You meditate every day? You’re so self-disciplined!”
I’ll let you in on a secret. It has nothing to do with self-discipline and everything to do with self-love.
Self-discipline is what I did in college. I kept to a rigorous schedule of study and exercise, rising at dawn to go running, attending classes all day, participating in various activist groups in the afternoon and hitting the library until late at night.
Inevitably this self-discipline would backfire. One day, I would realize I was completely sick and bored of my rigid running routine and I just couldn’t do it anymore. Berating myself or feeling bad about it wouldn’t motivate me, either. Enough was enough. I was sick of running. So I switched to swimming and started the cycle all over again, putting myself on another rigid schedule.
Then, I would get sick of swimming.
And have to find another form of exercise. And the cycle would repeat.
Now, I have an exercise routine that is based in joy and self-love. I love to hike alone or with friends, I love to dance, I love to go to my early morning yoga class. I love going to pilates classes and being around all the other students, I love taking walks with my husband. (Did I mention I LOVE to dance?)
And these days I know myself better than I did when in college. I know that need a lot of variety so I switch what for exercise I do regularly.
Have been berating yourself or comparing yourself with others because you are not more “self-disciplined”? What is the underlying motivation for wanting to do this activity? Can you find the love in it?
Michele, I totally relate to the ‘rigid discipline’ of an exercise routine, although I’ve had similiar experiences with other activities like keeping a journal;) And yes, I’d beat myself up over not being disciplined enough – comparing myself to others. That was then…now realize I require variety and do activities for a set amount of time then move on to something else. I am giving journaling ie.Morning Pages a la Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way again and this time is different. Got artistically/creatively stuck for a while and needed something to jumpstart things again. Unlike previous attempts, I look forward to doing them (first couple of days were rough though;) Bet there are others out there who totally relate to this tricky area of self-discipline!
I am so in agreement to this! It doesn’t happen if I don’t love doing it. And anyway, my goal is to spend as close to all of my time as possible doing things that give me joy. So forget “discipline,” bring on the love!
June 9, 2011 @ 10:30 p.m..
I am deeply in love with my work. I seem to fall into a space that has no space, no time but has a sense presence. I have many pieces of work that speak. I also have many unfinished pieces. I find that reurning to that creative state very difficult.
Two or three weeks ago I found Michele Thebridge in my e mail. A light, a thought, Pierceing Joy entered my Heart Discussing this revelation with them an agreement was achieved. I would post a note on my door saying “AT WORK”. The 15 minutes has grown to 60 minutes.
Michelle, I have found that I work in waves when it comes to my art, but my writing is way more sporadic. Not sure the reason for that. I always manage to write when I sit down to it, but getting there…(sigh)not that easy. My motivation is deffinately off there. The fact that I have yet to finish one story, just one, gives me pause. Its a bugger! The history of my writing is a story in itself, maybe I should write that story then I could maybe have a finished, whole piece for the pleasure of being able to say, “Yes, I finished a story!” Hmmmmm…food for thought.